5 Genuine Ways to Lift Someone Up Without Mentioning Looks

5 Genuine Ways to Lift Someone Up Without Mentioning Looks

It's Time to Rethink Compliments

In today's image-obsessed society, it's all too easy to fall into the trap of giving appearance-based compliments, thinking we're being kind. But the truth is, constantly focusing on and reinforcing the importance of beauty does more harm than good, especially for women. Even well-intentioned comments about someone's body can make them more self-conscious and contribute to the toxic idea that looks are what matter most.

The Hidden Dangers of Appearance-Based Praise

Research shows that complimenting women's physical appearance increases feelings of self-objectification and makes them hyperfocus on monitoring their bodies. On a deeper level, it reinforces the notion that bodies are more important than the human beings inhabiting them. Even seemingly-positive campaigns aimed at telling all women they are beautiful still promote the flawed assumption that being beautiful should be women's top priority.

Seeing Beyond the Surface

While there may be appropriate moments to mention someone's looks, such as complimenting a friend's new haircut they're excited about, we need to break the instant reflex of zeroing in on the external. A person's relationship with their body is complex and highly personal. Making unsolicited comments, even positive ones, is inappropriate and projects our own body ideals onto them.

Elevating the Whole Person

So how can we give thoughtful, uplifting compliments that have nothing to do with physical attributes? Here are some tips:

  • Focus on abilities and what someone's body can do, not how it looks
  • Praise admirable qualities like kindness, strength, intelligence, determination, calmness, insightfulness, curiosity, patience, etc.
  • Stay mindful that you never know another person's body image struggles; err on the side of caution

Redefining Our Worth

Ultimately, the onus is also on us as individuals to understand our inherent value beyond our bodies. When we reject the notion of being objects to be assessed, external commentary, both positive and negative, loses its power over us. How we look doesn't define who we are. True confidence comes from within, knowing we are so much more than our physical shells.

By shifting the way we see ourselves and others, we can lift each other up in meaningful ways and appreciate the multifaceted beauty in every person. Our words have impact - let's use them wisely to empower.

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